The Gay Fifty Shades of Grey

Sensuality, control, respect, devotion, adoration and above all consensuality. These are all key aspects of the BDSM / fetish lifestyle. Whether it is an integral part of your life, day in and day out, or something to be experienced merely behind closed doors in chains and leather there is something primal and inexhaustibly exotic about the culture.


In fetish, one person is usually designated to assume a dominant role, while the other will take on a submissive one. The common shorthand for these roles are simply Dom and sub. A person who enjoys taking on either role at different times would be known as a Switch. A good Dom knows stepping into the dominant role is an honor and act of service. They acknowledge the privilege of walking someone to the edge of their sexual boundaries and allowing them to experience peak levels of pleasure. The Dom is simply the servant to the subs wishes.



A good Dom knows stepping into the dominant role is an honor and act of service. They acknowledge the privilege of walking someone to the edge of their sexual boundaries and allowing them to experience peak levels of pleasure. The Dom is simply the servant to the subs wishes


Fetish play that involves one partner tying or restraining another with either ropes, cuffs, belts, velcro, neckties, is a type of play that involves an element of punishment. This dynamic could set up where the Dom sets rules and guidelines for what the sub has to, or cannot, say and do. Or, the sub simply enjoys the feeling of having been “bad”, and needing to be punished by the Dom in some way (ex. role-playing a student in detention with a teacher.)



Because such activity involve a dose of risk (pain caused by bindings, bruises, choking, unusual positions) fetish play should never be practiced without precaution measures. So-called "security" words are some codes, agreed, whereby the partners communicate during intercourse "linked." The dominated person must communicate clearly what he feels: if anything hurts, if he wants more alert action or to be set free, or if the physical or emotional limits are exceeded. The safety words must be other than those that usually utter during intercourse, for the dominant to know exactly what he needs to do.


If you fall into the S&M category, knowing your orientation is especially helpful in enabling you to communicate with current and potential partners, since you already know the type of person whose kinks would compliment your own. 


*Fetish play should never be mixed with drugs or alcohol.

*You should not stay tied in the same position more than one hour (the bonds may reduce blood flow).

*Do not choose positions that can affect your breathing. *The bonds have to be tied so they can easily be untied.

One thing to remember is that when you take on the role of a Dom and your submissive wants you to do things to him that you might not otherwise do, it's all an act. You are playing a role. Pain and pleasure go hand in hand here, but always on terms that you both set. As long as it is desirable for both bondage partners and is practiced in the right range, bondage can be very exciting, because mutual confidence grows in couples and reaches a level of intimacy deeper than a regular game of sex.

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